sometimes i feel so small...

sometimes i feel so small... 

the last few months have been a hard hit to my heart... to my mind... to my soul.  my mind reels somedays when i think about the pain i've known since october.  it has left me feeling frail and fearful... things that i haven't felt in such a long time.  in the face of rejection, critique, and ungrace i am finding it difficult to stand.

most days i'm feeling vulnerable and unsure of myself...

i understand the depth of my desperation for Christ today more than i ever.  i guess that is the gift in this suffering.  more than anything i want to be scooped up, cared for, loved on, protected, encouraged, adored, wanted... Christ come and meet me in the depths of those desires!

over the last few months i've found myself on this journey of TRUST... to trust God more than i ever have before!  sometimes it feels so crazy, but i believe that despite how out of control i am feeling Christ is here... to be my Protector, my Lover, my Provider, ... my ALL.  i believe that no matter what i've done or has been done to me, Christ is committed to me & LOVES me COMPLETELY... regardless.

this is an assurance that gets me through days laden with critique, hostility, ungrace, and unlove.  this is what i DESPERATELY NEED to hold onto today...