crammed

as of late life has felt like my laundry bag from college... you know the kind that you crammed full of your clothes to the point that the seams were nearly busting. it's crammed because you don't want to miss out on any of your old favorites or new fab-finds being left out on the journey home to be sorted and washed... celebrated and worn.

so what does this have to do with my life? well, the last couple of months i feel like my heart, mind and soul has been crammed full of so much goodness, so many possibilities, so many new Kingdom considerations, so much rich learning, so many scriptures that have leapt off the page and begun to become 3dimensional in my life, so many surprises, so much to think about... that i can most relate with my old laundry bag... full amazing and treasured things, nearly busting at the seams, ready to be sorted... ideas washed/worked out... and given legs to celebrate and cultivate faithfulness.

i almost feel overwhelmed by the awe and wonder of it all... kinda like that fateful moment when i'd get home from kent state and dump out all of my clothes... and yikes, there it ALL is... how do i make cosmos out of this chaos? so i finally decided that i'd open the bag up here today... with the understanding that i don't have to figure out how it all sorts out nor how it all will get worn for the glory of Christ. i just had to untie and begin to let some of the pressure off the seams of my life... and let Christ, through the work of the Holy Spirit, do his thing. [thanx, austina, for nudging me about writing on this thing!]

i've been "writing" this blog entry in my head ever since i returned from our Spring Break TREK to D.C. -- probably even on it. my head and heart has been spinning with images, faces, ideas, action, hopes, and worries since treading those sidewalks of D.C. with an amazing group of sojourners. the week was both a treasure and a tease.

it was a treasure to live with, serve along, laugh with, learn beside, dream with, wonder alongside of abby, ryan, becky, lydia, brett, nicole, and poppy. the van conversations, watching folks be moved and empowered, frolicking together, sharing in laughter that lent to deep learning, listening to how folk's hearts and eyes were being changed, imagining together a new way... third way -- Christ's way of living out Love, Compassion & Truth in this world.

it was a tease because it was so temporal... i was reminding how much of a gift living in an intentional community really is. it has made me grateful once again for those 7 wonderful years that i was living and learning alongside the 35 people of the Kairos House community. it underscored how difficult it is to work toward rich community outside of intentional spaces, experiences and relationships. it left me hungering for more... it left me longing for Christ to come (& to come quickly!) so that this world that is filled with lonely, hungry people can have their hearts, minds, souls and bodies... their longings filled at the Banquet Feast of our LORD!

and thanx to my friend, steve garber from The Washington Institute, i am reminded that WE CAN cultivate intentional community... folks who we can pursue faithfulness alongside of. i really appreciated hearing steve twice over the last month... and in both of his talks steve shared about how he & meg always choose a neighbor first, not a house. i learned those same ideas from gail & ken heffner (cco alum who are some of garber's cohorts) back at OCBP in '93... they talked with us about making decisions about where to live and work based on the community with whom you could best live and serve Christ with. they really encouraged and challenged us to go where we can live alongside of other Kingdom builders... to make that primary... and not to make our career or salary be the deciding factor. these ideas are radical... counter cultural.

so this is one of the things that i want to see YHWH develop again in my life. i want to live among Kingdom cohorts that make Christ first & foremost in their lives. i want to wrestle, pray, learn and work out faithfulness together... all day, every day.

my heart desires...

• depth with the people of God.
• learning how to live lives of sacrificial love together in a world that hungers for such selflessness.
• rich conversations with Kingdom consequences over lengthy cups of fair trade coffee... and then act on them together!
• to be loving neighbors to a city that is in desperate need of a Savior & a LORD.
• to study the Scriptures & theology that will lend to a lifetime of glorifying Christ!
• working out the dreams of God (Brian McClaren, The Secret Message of Jesus) through creative, wholistic pursuits of faithfulness in our work, play, neighboring, cooking, voting, celebrations, writing, serving, gardens, family, decision-making, and hopes.
• working out our faith together in the political sphere ~ locally, nationally, globally... for the sake of the poor & oppressed.
• to know our Triune God more deeply through rich, authentic CONNECTING with other followers of Christ... and the mutual soul care that only comes from that kind of relationship (Larry Crabb, Connecting).

so, there you go... a little is out... i've only unpacked a small portion of my "laundry bag." i've barely scratched the surface of what i'm thinking and feeling about these things... there is so much more to say... to process.

i've yet to talk about...

the affects of Harry's preaching on the the Gospel of Mark: the Revolution of Christ and if i'm going to be a rebel for Christ... how the insights that Wendell Berry is lending me through his book Sex, Economy, Freedom & Community... how the radical, revolutionary vision to live like and for Christ that Shane Claiborne's (from the simple way community) life lends through his book The Irresistable Revolution... how to teach leadership development to others when i've always done it t h r o u g h community here in kent... how the Psalms are rocking my world as i search for reminders and teachings on YHWH's faithfulness -- and am finding them... how the students that Christ has brought into my life are an act of his overwhelming kindness and love... how the lives of a number of LN alumni continue to be a source of real encouragement as i watch them work out their love for Christ.... i could go on. thank goodness i'm caught in a life with eternity guaranteed to work out these things with my Triune God. [for any of the books mentioned just contact my good friends, byron & beth borger at Hearts & Minds Bookstore for the lowest "fair trade" price]

YOU are tov-tov-tov-tov-tov-tov-tov, O Triune God! i'm grateful to be overwhelmed by your goodness! it lends light and hope in the midst of life's struggles, pains, suffering and confusion. i am reminded that YOU ARE THE LIGHT WHO CAME INTO OUR DARKNESS... you HAVE HAD victory through your suffering, death and resurrection from the Cross. and now we get to walk hand-in-hand WITH YOU to work out YOUR LOVE, LIGHT, TRUTH & HOPE in this world. grant me courage, patience and a faithful spirit to live like YOU! help me to patiently work with you to sort out all the goodness that has been crammed into my life... for your glory & delight.