Advent Ponderings (a work in progress)

amazingly the LORD is a radical Provider... lavishing upon me incredible ways to serve him... giving me something exciting to look forward to in the New Year. the anticipation that i feel about this Epiphany gift that is head for me causes me to pause and remember that this difficult season is the work of Advent. yes, this season is marked by HOPE & an anticipation of JOY... but its real work is the WAITING.

waiting. waiting. that's the word that we all seem to struggle with. i know i do. waiting is such a difficult work... and it requires so much of us: our trust, our patience, our comfort, the release of our illusion of being in control.

i keep thinking about it as i watch my friend Franci's belly grow with her baby boy inside. especially here at the end the waiting is extremely difficult... physically & emotionally. (january 9th or sooner!) i wonder what it was like for Mary... she hadn't planned on becoming a young mom... she didn't make love with her fella with the hope of having a child... the public shame... the physical difficulty... the "unpreparedness" of this enormity in her life... i'm unsure if she could have really understood what the Lord was doing in and through her. the magnitude of birthing the Son of God. how could she have understood that?!?

i don't think she did.
what i do believe she was able to do was RELEASE HER WHOLE SELF to the Lord... choosing to be a willing vessel, ... a servant mother. she chose to TRUST GOD with this "messy work", allowed herself to be shamed and chose to be used by the LORD so that his will and purposes could be completed. so much to learn from that young teenage mother.



for now i sit in this second Advent, waiting... anticipating... wondering what this season of my life is all about. what it is that Christ is trying to "birth" through my story? what is he preparing me for? i am grateful for the lessons on willingness that Mary has lent me. as i seek be faithful in the midst of life's mess, i too wait... and wonder. what will this Messy God that i serve do with all of this?

for now i seek to find healing through the Baby Healer... waiting desperately for his 2nd visit... the one that will rid our lives COMPLETELY of tears & ungrace, pain & violence, betrayal & hurt, illness & grief. come, Lord Jesus, come!