leaky

i can't seem to shake a bit of the blues as of late... they keep making me be all leaky (that's my term for crying). overall i'm grateful... very grateful... for these last 9 months. the Lord has been so gracious and so kind in my life. i have innumerable reasons to thank him!

but my gratitude just can't make me shake some of the fears and lies that have been causing my leaks.

it seems crazy to continue to struggle with believing the lies: that i'm not "good enough"; that i mess everything up; that i'm "damaged goods"; that when i try to love i just end up hurting others; . . ._ fill in the blank_. after all this time i still believe the lies like they were the Truth. ugh.

my old friend doug bradbury always talked about how "we need to believe the Truth as if it were a lie!" so i'm trying to r e a c h for the Truth and b e l i e v e it with the same intensity (if not more) that i've been buying these lies.

i've NEEDED the scriptures so much lately... to argue the TRUTH into my head and heart. just listening in the Psalms for the TRUTH that YHWH is faithful and trustworthy (96, 138)... that the LORD has made me tov-tov & that he adores me (139). or as Isaiah proclaims in chapter 62:4, i am YHWH's Hephzibah... his delight! and in the writings of Paul, to be reminded that "i am a new creation IN CHRIST"(Galatians 6:15)... that "i don't belong to myself, but that i belong God" and that Christ has bought me (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)... and i am no longer an enemy of God, but rather i am his friend (Romans 5:10).

i need these Truths to hold onto because this storm keeps causing leaks.