not knowing whether to cry or laugh...

I want a lifetime of holy moments.
Every day I want to be in dangerous proximity to Jesus.
I long for a life that explodes with meaning
and is filled with adventure, wonder, risk, and danger.
I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous.
I want to be with Jesus, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.
~ Mike Yaconelli - founder of Youth Specialties, author, Jubilee speaker

i was surfing around some of the blogs that some LN students have and found this AMAZING quote on jamie's... when i read it the format of the blog didn't show mike's name and i thought she had written it... then i immediately thought, "why is this woman asking me to hang out for discipleship?!? she needs to disciple me!" and i think she will. students really do change the way that i know Christ. they haven't lost their ability to access hope... they're full of raw passion... and live lives that are ignited. one time my old friend mark said, "campus ministry really keeps your feet close to the fire of faith," and when i sojourn with folks like jamie, franci, jennifer, or jackie (just to name a few)... i have to admit that those were very wise words that mark lent. my desire to be lost completely in Christ overwhelms me somedays... and i'm blessed that sometimes it's the stories that students share with me about their faith journeys that open that door in my life.

I want a lifetime of holy moments.
Every day I want to be in dangerous proximity to Jesus.
I long for a life that explodes with meaning
and is filled with adventure, wonder, risk, and danger.
I long for a faith that is gloriously treacherous.
I want to be with Jesus, not knowing whether to cry or laugh.

i can't read it too much. yac's quote really makes me ache... hunger... long. when i first saw this quote it felt strangely familiar and incredibly wonderful. familiar because yac was a jubilee speaker in the mid-90's and really blew us away, which led me to read some of his stuff, hence the familiarity.? when i saw it i just sat there in front of the computer....... simply staring at those strange and wonderful words and sentences, praying to the Spirit that they would get INTO me. for they touch what i think this Lenten season is supposed to be about for me this year... a radical dependence on Christ... to know him more intimately than a lover... to be overwhelmed by his presence, his forgiveness and changed by his love... to be fully surrendered... embodying what Luke writes about in Acts 17:28 NLT, "For in him we live and move and exist." this is the Truth about my reality.

as my wonder increases so does my curiosity. what will come over these next few weeks as we approach the Paschal mystery (Easter)? am i willing to live abandoned to Christ alone? leaning into him, lending him to all that i encounter and lavishing in his enduring love in such a way other's lives are saturated with this wonderful, grace-filled love? that's my hope.